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It seems like it's a rite of passage-- doing it in a car... Well, whether or not you've taken part
in this act, you know that a car isn't the most comfortable place to get down. Now while we don't
condone any of this, we've come up with a
guide to sex in cars-- which ones are the best and which ones to just stay out of...
Any compact
Advantages: Smaller size encourages greater intimacy and vehicle is easier to push if you run out of gas.
Disadvantages: Minimal legroom: difficult to drive with jeans around ankles.
Chevrolet
Advantages: Convenient display indicates when you're out of gas.
Disadvantages: Wierd electrical system: writhing during orgasm may activate flashers.
Chrysler Imperial
Advantages: Anti-lock brakes prevent skidding during extra special orgasm. Spacious seats invite lust.
Disadvantages: Inconvient shift lever almost guarantees headache in awkward positions (any position in which partner's head makes contact with the gas pedal).
Ford Taurus
Advantages: Spacious trunk permits "kinky" sex, especially if lover deosn't have a spare tire.
Disadvantages: Limited warranty: doesn't cover rust and/or wet spots.
Jaguar
Advantages: Sumptuous leather seats lend added dimension of sensuality. Erotic design of car considered form of foreplay. Hood ornament a sex symbol.
Disadvantages: Between seat shift console may cause over-ardent male to experience his first hernia. Also difficult to find parts.
Jeep
Advantages: Four-wheel drive provides offroad capabilities and greater privacy. Possible to make love in the middle of a stream.
Disadvantages: Unless lover on top wears a copper derby, tight suspension may cause head injuries when going over rough roads.
Mercedes-Benz
Advantages: Titlt steering wheel enables both partners to fit. 100-way adjustable seat permits nearly unlimited positions.
Disadvantages: Too much safety: moan-activated airbag may open and cause coitus interruptus.
Oldsmobile Cutlass
Advantages: Excellent cruise control permits nonstop lovemaking, even while going thru toll booths. Strategic placement of windshield washer control makes it easy to rinse each other off after fervent passion.
Disadvantages: Automatic safety belts may offend those not into bondage.
SAAB
Advantages: Excellent handling: safe to enjoy foreplay and intercourse while negotiating a hairpin S-curve.
Disadvantages: Hair-trigger horn may sound when lovers engage in classic "front seat" position: his feet on floor, her feet on steering wheel.
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