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    Guide to Today's Slang
     
    There are so many terms for things these days, how are you to know what in cool and what isn't? It's as if there is a complete secret language when it comes to dating. Well, don't worry, we've deciphered that code for you and put things into layman's terms. Here's what we've got:

    A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


    Accidental Sex

    the person you don't really mean to have sex with, but you're there, you're both drunk, so why not?

    Al Gore

    a guy who just won't accept that the relationship is over

    Antiquing

    Dating someone who is older than you

    Around the World

    The act of kissing the entire body as a prelude to sex

    BAV

    born-again virginity; result of an extremely long dry spell, usually 6 months or more

    Basket

    The bulge made by male sex organs in jeans, briefs and trunks

    Bed Arrest

    being held captive by a post-sex cuddler

    Beer Goggles

    when you are so drunk that the dog starts looking good, you have beer goggles

    Billy Joel Syndrome

    When someone dates surprisingly above their level (an unattractive guy asks out a totally hot chick)

    Birkenstalker

    The cute but underemployed guy with no "interview shoes" and too much time to spend on a new relationship.

    Booty Call

    a late night phone call to someone you know who will come over for sex

    Breakfast O's

    sex or masturbation first thing in the morning

    Buffer Boy

    the perfectly nice guy who serves as a cushion to keep you from falling too hard for the man you truly adore

    Busy

    as in "I'm Busy" translation: "Don't call me again"

    Cherry

    one who is still a virgin

    Cornhole

    anal sex

    Coyote-Ugly

    when you'd chew your own arm off to get away from the person lying next to you, they are usually considered to be coyote-ugly

    Daisy Chain

    a line of people joined end to end in sexual union

    Deja Sex

    hobbling a former lover for recreational purposes only

    Detour

    a person you are sleeping with until someone better comes along

    DNRR Order

    do not resuscitate romance order; a directive that you are not, under any circumstances, allowed to revive, or "restart the heart" of, a hopeless past relationship

    Dot.Dud

    The 26-year-old Internet vet who was a CEO last year and is a nobody now, but still thinks he is the next Bill Gates

    Double Bagger

    a person so ugly that not only must they wear a bag on their head during sex, it is recommended that you wear one too in case theirs tears off; see also coyote ugly

    Drunk Dial

    the phone call you make to your current, ex, or potential hotties, when you are extremely intoxicated; usually goes hand in hand with a booty call

    Duncan Hinesight

    The startling realization that you have scared off a new boyfriend with a homeade gift; regret at having backed or swen for a man too early in the relatiotionship

    Glory Hole

    An opening cut into the partition between two commode stalls in a men's restroom through which oral intercourse can be performed

    Golden Shower

    Urinating on another for sexual pleasure

    Guest Star

    the noncouple member of a threesome; sometimes referred to as a pinch hitter

    Health Risk

    a person with a shady rep

    Hit On

    to put the moves on someone

    Infrequent Caller Miles

    the points a woman should rack up every time she manages to not call a man

    Jail Bait

    someone under the age of 18, usually female

    Kidney Scraper

    an extremely well-endowed guy

    Knock Off A Piece

    to have sex

    Macking On

    to really put the moves on someone

    Mailstrom

    obsessive watching of your email inbox and careful crafting of letters that occurs in the beginning of an email relationship

    Matinee

    sex in the afternoon

    Missionary Impossible

    the traumatic moment when a guy can't get it up and she keeps assuring him it's okay, which by the way, only makes it worse

    Modelizer

    a womanizer who only sleeps with models

    Monet

    reference to the artist; anything which looks good from far but is just a mess up close

    Nooner

    A working lunch in which sex serves as a nutrional substitute

    Old Dirt Road

    Anal intercourse

    PT-141

    a chemical copy of the brain's horniness horomone; it is being turned into a nasal spray to make men last longer and women want it more.

    Pecker Shock

    The panicked feeling you get when you realize that a guy is either way too small, or way too big, for sex to work between you two.

    Pocket Pool

    masturbating thru your pants pocket

    Queen in de-Nile

    A straightman who hasn't yet realized he's gay.

    Relationship Karma

    the bad things you did to your last boyfriend come back to haunt you with your next one

    Relationship Rerun

    the sobering realization that the men you're meeting are basically repeats of the men you've already dated.

    RDC

    relationship defining chat; the moment in all new relationships where the parameters of the relationship are defined.

    Recycling

    the act of dating former flames when your current one ends

    Rule of Three

    a determinant of sexual activity; whatever the guy tells you, divide by 3, whatever the girl tells you add 3 to. It's consistent as gravity.

    Sausage Fest

    A party or bar that is full of men with very few women; see sword fight

    Scamming

    usually in reference to guys who are trying out their newest lines; see macking and hit on

    Sea of Hats

    a college bar; defined by the white baseball cap uniform worn by all male patrons

    Sex Haze

    euphoric state after the first few sleepovers, during which you suffer from delusions

    Sexual Camel

    person who can go long periods without sex

    Six-Pack Chick/Guy

    the amount of beer it would take to make someone attractive; see beer goggles

    State of the Union

    any major discussion concerning the status of your relationship

    Sweat Suitor

    A deadly dull boyfriend who is hard to break up with because being with him is so damn comfortable-- like lounging around in your oldest sweats.

    Sword Fight

    A disdainful comment for a room full of men looking to score -- and no women in sight; see sausage fest

    Three

    the number of people you've slept with when your current lover asks, regardless of what the truth may be

    Tonsil Hockey

    making out to the point someone yells "Get a room!"

    Toxic Bachelor

    a guy who's handsome, romantic, and a commitment-phobe

    Trampage

    (\'tram-paj\) A slutty phase, as in "Yeah I slept with him. I'm on a trampage"

    Trolling for Cock

    women who go out for the sole purpose of "gettin' some" are often referred to as trolling for cock

    UDI

    unidentified drunken injury; random bruises of mysterious origin that appear after a rowdy nigh out

    V-Free

    coined by "natural" male porn stars as a way to let their costars know that their marathon erections are not Viagra induced

    Wham Bam

    rapid and hurried sexual activity


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